Today was a day of self evaluation. Mostly non-sport related which I won't go into here. Overall, a day of reassessment, cleaning out the cobwebs in my mind and trying to get re-motivated.
I played a tennis match tonight. I lost 6-3, 6-3. I should have won. I could have won. It could have least been closer. She was good, don't get me wrong but I just wasn't into it. Maybe still tired from Sunday, who knows... Up until this match I was in first place in my division on track to move up another level (which is the golden ring everyone ultimately is trying to attain in this league). So the revelation... Who am I trying to impress? I lost. So what.
Yes, all my recent activities have proven to me that I am competitive (which up until this point, I would have honestly said I was not). Ultimately, who cares if I lose a match to someone I should have beaten? (OK, maybe the girl who is now in first thanks to my loss does but...) Who cares if I finish a few minutes slower on teh bike leg due to a minor crash at the start? (OK, maybe the guy whose motorcycle I crashed into but....) My big revelation today was ... I don't need to impress anyone but myself. If I am OK with it, who cares what other people think? Deep, isn't it? :) Were you expecting something more?